Letters of Goodbye
by bickeringgibberish
Summary: I want to tell you... goodbye


Letters of Goodbye

**Letters of Goodbye**

**By: xXRainbow-ChanXx**

**Summary: I want to tell you… Goodbye**

**A/N: another one shot!! Wow I'm really into this already! Maybe I should put all my Fics on hold! :p, by the way to all who read my other one shot which is highly experimental and reviewed, thank you for saying you like it though it's end is a bit lame, I **_**really**_** want to describe the kiss but I found out that it's almost one in the morning so I just wrote it hastily! That was a confession! To all who gave me reviews in all my works, please, check your mails and there you would find all my review replies, just in case many people think that I'm just ignoring them or something.**

**I would like to congratulate Anna, for doing a fantastic job in devil's contract, Shiro-koi who made me cry because I thought Mikan would choose Ruka instead. Annaoj who's still not gonna update, (gonna kill you for that)**

**Thanks to all who said that I did a great job in my studies!! Wooh, I got 91.09 in my general average!! Annaoj has 93.08! Too bad I didn't make it. Oh well, let the fan fiction start!**

**-0-o-o-0-**

Sakura Mikan's auburn eyes snapped open when she heard her room door open, she hastily pulled herself up from her queen sized bed and ran towards the door. She managed to place a fake wide smile before the green haired girl turned, she is Sumire Shouda, one of her best friends since 10, she managed to crinkle her nose when she stared at her, and with a toss of her hair she proceeded into her bedroom and sat down on her two-seater couch.

"What brings you here unexpectedly Sumire? Do you need something from me?" she asked before sitting down on her bead with a heavy sigh.

Sumire's lips curled up as she glared. "I heard that Natsume-" she inhaled sharply, "_humiliated_ you again, a while ago in the cafeteria." Mikan managed to smile at Sumire's concern.

"It was nothing serious, Sumire."

"It's always not serious for you but do you even know that it's serious for us? Your friend who care for you? Mikan are you blind or stupid? Can't you get his point? _He_ does _not_ love _you_ and he will never do so!" she didn't want to shout or anything but her heart is already bursting in anger, she is angry about Mikan's stupidity, Mikan's denseness, Mikan's idiocy, she hates everything she does, she hates her guts. She hates everything in her.

"I just want to hear him say that he loves me just once." She managed to say quietly.

Sumire groaned in desperation. "Mikan! The Natsume you're seeing right now is _not_ the same Natsume you know before! He's changed! HE'S NOT THE ONE WHO LOVED YOU BEFORE!"

"Sumire, I just—I don't care if he hurts me, I can take everything he does because I love him," she stared at Sumire's green eyes before staring down. "I just want to show him how much I love him."

"But he does not want you to do so; he doesn't need you in his life! Mikan get this into your brain: he will _never_ need you and he will _never_ love you!"

"You were dumped by him a lot of times and _still_ you didn't give up," she pointed out.

"I gave up when we reached 13 because I know I can never match those girls, because I know that I'm not his type, because I know that he is just so good to be true! A pheasant can't fall in love with her governor, a maid can never fall in love with her master, a God can never fall in love with a mortal, Mikan; and he can _never_ fall in love with you!"

"I just want to hear him say he loves me."

"But he does _not_, and if he lies to himself, it would be unfair to him."

"I just want to hear it even though he doesn't."

"Mikan stop being naïve! If he tells you he loves you but he doesn't it would be one stupid lie. Can't you stop being selfish Mikan? Don't ask people to do something you want them to do just because you want them to."

Mikan bit her lip. "Why are you insanely in love with him anyways? He hurts you! He asks his fan girls to beat you up! He treats you badly! There are a lot of boys in the Gakuen, a lot of them _likes_ you, _worships_ you, _idolizes_ you! Why don't you consider having a boyfriend that's in the same level as you?"

"I can't Sumire, I just can't. I don't know why I'm in love with him. I don't know what I'm doing; I don't know why I'm hurting myself."

"Then stop, because you can still do so. Stop hurting yourself, stop everything to be happy." Sumire bent down in front of her and began to cry. "Please."

"But I'm happy in what I'm doing Sumire, even though I get beaten up even though-"

"STOP! This is stupid Mikan! This is _really_ stupid! I don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to anymore, I've heard enough, and I'm leaving." And with that Sumire Shouda one of her best friends stood up and left the room and with that Sakura Mikan smiled weakly. "Thank you Sumire."

**-0-o-o-0-**

"She wouldn't listen, Hotaru, I'm giving up already. I can't take it anymore. She's insane! She loves him still! Why can't she open her eyes? Why can't she see reality? Why can't she stop?" Sumire just entered Imai Hotaru's lab and stared at the female inventor, her back was facing her and she seemed to stop when Sumire spoke. Hotaru turned and faced her, her amethyst eyes looked tired and hurt.

"You talked to her?" she asked nonchalantly. Sumire rolled her eyes and nodded.

"Obviously, and no matter what I say she wouldn't listen. She's naïve."

"What did she see in Hyuuga anyways? Why can't she just stop loving him? They changed and we changed, can't she just stop hurting herself?"

"I've asked her that already and she said she's happy in what she's doing. She just wants to hear Natsume say the L phrase." She spat out. "To think of it he will never say such thing to her, he would never do so."

"That baka," Hotaru muttered. "What's wrong with her?"

"Aren't I supposed to ask that? Considering you are her best friend for almost," Sumire counted her ten fingers and moved her toes. "Fourteen years, right?"

"Sometimes, best friends can't understand one another you know," she stated.

"Aren't you gonna talk to her about it? Sooner or later she'll die not because of her sickness but because of what Natsume is doing."

Hotaru sighed. "Probably later this evening Sumire, probably."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Mikan dropped her pen when her door opened again, she hastily placed the paper she's writing on under one of her books before standing up and walking towards her hallway, Hotaru was there standing straightly, amethyst eyes cold as ever.

"Hotaru!!" she exclaimed loudly, loud enough to wake everybody in the dormitory. She immediately ran and hugged Hotaru. She giggled at the thought of her hugging Hotaru for the 4th time in her life, knowing Hotaru she would be carrying her Baka Gun version 9.5, the latest one. "Didn't you bring your Baka Gun along?" she asked innocently.

"Why do you want to get hit by it? I thought you've got beaten up already? Would you lie to experience another round of beatings?" her cold tone suggested something that Mikan likes. She wants her to stop her doings.

"Yeah, I miss it probably, would you upgrade it this night? Can you shoot me with that tomorrow?"

"Did you eat something?" Hotaru asked with concern as she held Mikan's face, "I thought you hated being hit by it?"

"I just figured out that I would like to feel its upgraded pain."

"You've experienced a lot of pain already and yet, you still want to be hit by my gun?"

"Hotaru, can we stop talking about your gun and just tell me why you're here?"

"You perfectly know why I'm here," she stated

"Of course, about Natsume again, don't worry when this week ends, everything's gonna be alright." She said with a smile.

"Why are you still awake anyways?"

"Oh, I couldn't sleep Hotaru, that's why. Don't worry. I'll sleep later."

"Ok then, Oyasumi."

"Oyasumi."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Mikan opened her eyes when her alarm rang, she managed to sleep before 1:00 and now she woke up, extremely early. It was 7 in the morning and she still has an hour to eat breakfast to shower and to walk around, her first stop would be Yoichi's room this morning then probably Koko's room. She stood up and stretched, another morning, another day of pain and happiness, six days from now and everything would change. She went inside her bathroom took a quick bath and went outside, she needs to find Yoichi today or else her schedule will be messed up.

"Hello You-chan," she greeted the grey haired boy with large teal eyes the moment she passed by the elementary department. Yoichi managed to nod before leaning against the wall.

"What brings an ugly girl here who is insanely in love with my nii-chan?" he asked nonchalantly. She managed to laugh before sitting beside Yoichi. His eyes narrowed when she did so. "I didn't let you sit beside me you know."

"I know You-chan. Just let me sit here just for a while." She managed to give another weak smile before laughing. "Why are you up early anyways?"

"I'm always up early." He snapped. "How about you, every morning I can hear your scream because you're always late."

"I think I've set my alarm clock at the wrong time." She said sheepishly.

"Are you Natsume-nii's stalker?" he asked. Mikan snorted.

"Six days from now everything would change Yoichi, everything would change."

"You didn't answer my question at all! Are you his stalker or what?"

"I dunno, you judge me. I'd better go; I need to see Koko-kun today."

**-0-o-o-0-**

"I see you're up early today, Mikan." It was Koko's voice. She didn't expect to see him by the lake. His brown spiky hair was thrown sideways, probably because of the wind. Mikan smiled and sat down by the edge of the lake.

"What brings you here Koko?" she asked innocently, her hair fell gracefully by her butt as she patted the grass beside her. Koko rolled his eyes before obeying. He grunted 'what' as he sat down.

"You like Sumire don't you?" it was more of a statement other than a question. He snorted loudly then glared at her.

"What makes you say that rubbish?"

"Oh come on Koko! You're obvious! Even though you date and make out with millions of girls there's still something inside your heart that _says_ 'you love Sumire.'" She pointed her finger by his heart and laughed. "I won't tell her anyways."

"Look who's talking, you're Natsume's stalker right?"

"Yoichi called me a stalker too a while ago!" she pouted. "I'm not a stalker! I'm just in love with him."

"_Madly_ in love with him." He corrected.

"Don't worry; six days from now, everything would change."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Mikan yawned loudly, it was Tuesday and she's almost late for class. She managed to scream in surprise before scrambling to get up. She knows Hotaru would beat her up if she's gonna be late. She hastily brushed her teeth, showered and ran outside. "I'm gonna be late!!" she screamed, and then she stopped. She would miss that line, she thought to herself. "I would miss that line." She smiled widely before hitting somebody. Of course, she knows its Natsume.

"Sorry!" she bowed and ran away as fast as she can. Natsume stared at her figure sensing that there's something wrong with her.

"Ohio!!" She greeted the moment she pulled their classroom door open. Several girls giggled, seeing Mikan back into what she is before, they managed to laugh. Everything's gonna be fine. Some of the boys stared at her, Koko, Mochu and Ruka in particular. She stopped greeting people when she reached 15 because Natsume said its un-lady like. Hotaru raised her eyebrows before getting her Baka Gun out, as everybody predicted Mikan jumped- more like leaped high into the air before hugging Hotaru.

"Ohio, Hotaru!"

"What did you eat today Baka? And who told you, you can hug me?" she felt the barrel of her baka gun by her abdomen and gulped, three loud sounds of 'BAKA' Pierced the air as smoke went out from its hole. Mikan groaned outwardly before sitting up.

"MEANIE!" she was about to say something else when she saw a pair of crisp black pants in front of her. She looked up and saw Yuu's kind face, hazelnut eyes hidden beneath his round eyeglasses. He was offering his hand to her just the way things were before.

"Get up already Mikan-chan," he said kindly, she could cry in joy already. Everything's normal. Everything's back. "I see you're extremely full of energy today, what have you eaten?"

"To tell you the truth Yuu," she grabbed his hand and pulled herself up. "I haven't eaten yet. Things will remain like this, five days from now." She smiled lovingly before running towards the back where Mochu was. She began screaming at him for laughing at her, "You're so mean!! Why did you laugh!? I'm gonna shoot you with the baka gun next time!"

"Cool it Mikan," he stated. "I just found it amusing!"

"You're mean!!" but then she smiled. "Everything would be amusing, Mochu, five days from now."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Wednesday came faster than she expected. She managed to pout; their classes have ended already, much to her delight. And to think of it she hasn't talked to Ruka or Sumire yet, which was first in her to-do list. Ruka was still talking to Natsume always a best friend thing. She managed to roll her eyes and smiled at Sumire who as she thought caught her staring at Natsume, in Sumire's opinion of course. Mikan jumped up and ran towards Sumire, "you wanna eat something today Sumire?"

"I just caught you staring at him," she snapped.

"Not!" she wailed. "I was just staring at Ruka-pyon." She muttered sheepishly under her breath. Sumire raised her eyebrows before sighing.

"Well whatever, are you gonna treat me some cake or what?" Mikan smiled as she nodded.

"You aren't in love with him anymore?" she suddenly asked the moment they sat down.

"Eh?" Mikan mouthed, "actually… I dunno, as far as I'm concerned, I'm trying hard not to bump into him these days."

"That's an improvement then. At least you're almost normal." She smiled.

"Don't worry Sumire! Everything would be normal, four days from now."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Mikan entered the barn, she knows Ruka would be there feeding his animals as always. She needed to talk to him; they haven't had a decent talk since probably 2 years ago. And she wants to tell Ruka a lot, just like before, just like when they were still friends in her part and acquaintance in Ruka's part. There was a bright light by the center of the barn and she saw Ruka's blonde hair sticking up from one of the hays. She laughed heartily, catching Ruka's attention.

"Mikan, what are you doing here?" he snapped, it wasn't a question. It was a snap.

"Why did you snap at me Pyon?" she pouted, Ruka's eye twitched really hard.

"Didn't I tell you 'stop calling me that' already?"

"I just missed calling you that, so let me call you that name again four days from now."

"You know what? Every time I hear you say that phrase it makes me think that you're gonna die sooner or later." He said seriously. "Is there something bothering you?"

"Wow, a while ago you were snapping at me, why did you change all of a sudden?" she walked towards him and patted one of the rabbits. "There's nothing bothering me Pyon, I feel that everyday… I'm alive again; the old Mikan's alive again."

He smiled at what she said. "Glad to have you back then, Mi-chan," he said.

"I'm gonna be alive again, four days from now."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Thursday came this time much faster, she was clearly happy and everybody noticed it, her laughs, her smiles, her shouts and her screams were back, she was almost back to normal. Everything's almost back to normal but they noticed just one thing. Mikan is ignoring Natsume, and of course our little kuro-neko still acted oh so cool about what she is doing. Anna and Nonoko were beside her, both teaching her how to make a heart shaped cake. It was H.E. class one of Mikan's favorites, she was still pouting for her cake is so small it isn't even in a heart shape. Anna helped her though, placing icing and some chocolate chips which made them drool.

"I wish we can just bake like this forever Mikan-chan!" Nonoko exclaimed as she placed handfuls of sprinkles on her cake. Mikan managed a thin smile as she decorated the cake some more.

"Yeah! I wanna have a lot of fun with you Mikan! Those years that had gone by were wasted and I want to be with you and have fun with you forever!" Anna beamed.

"Three days from now Anna, Nonoko, we can bake until the oven burns we will have fun, three days from now."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Friday came, one of the days Mikan loved the most, she needs to see Naru-sensei to give him the cake she baked yesterday, probably to thank him in my opinion. She merrily walked towards the teachers' house where all the teachers stay almost half of their lives, she wants to thank them, to make them smile and laugh, to see their eyes twinkle as she tells stories about what happened yesterday. About her life, when she met them. She wants to talk to them and to eat with them. She missed them the most. She missed them.

She knocked loudly on the large French doors, her beautiful smile plastered by her face and her hair tied into a messy ponytail, Jinno-sensei opened the door, much to her surprise.

"Good Afternoon Jinno-sensei!" she greeted happily, Jinno raised his eyebrows at her.

"What brings a no-star here in front of _my_ doorstep?" he stated coldly.

"I'm here to visit Naru-sensei, can I come in?" she asked. He managed to grunt yes before opening the door; most of the teachers were there, casually sitting in front of their laptops probably grading students. Narumi was there, smiling when he caught sight of her.

"What is my little angel doing here?" he asked with a sing-song voice, Mikan ran towards him and gave him a big hug.

"I wanna give you this cake!" she proudly hands it to Narumi and smiled. She remembered him almost dying because of _stupid_ Persona. **(A/N: sorry to all persona fans! I love persona, don't worry!)**

"Did you bake it?" he asked eyes wide as saucers. Misaki was there, sitting beside Jinno and Serina.

"Yes, I want all of you to eat it, since I'm a troublemaker and all!"

"You are not, actually." Misaki corrected as he ate a slice, Serina was nibbling a piece and Jinno was eating his 3rd slice. She handed a slice to Narumi and watched as they ate, she was laughing and smiling and how they wished she would still be the same Mikan Sakura who entered the academy accidentally in order to find Hotaru.

"I hope you can always laugh with us Mikan, I missed you very, very much." Narumi took her hand and gently kissed it.

"Don't worry otou-san; two days from now, I'll always laugh with you, two days from now."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Saturday came in at last, it wasn't raining at all, and everything seemed to be so alive and lovely, now that her energy was back. She closed the book she was reading and sighed. A day from now… she thought as she smiled at their class picture, a day from now.

She groaned loudly before standing up, the last two important persons of her life were scheduled today, namely Natsume and Hotaru. She'll just place Natsume last; she might not take his cruelty today. She skipped up dressed into a nice white dress and ran outside. She was secretly hoping that Hotaru as free today. She wants to spend time with her today. "To think of it… Hotaru and I haven't had a bonding moment for 3 years already!" she giggled quietly as she turned towards the direction of Hotaru's room. "I'll just stay with her today!" she decided before opening her door.

"Hotaru?"

"And why would an idiot be inside my room?" Hotaru coldly asked. Mikan smiled as she propped herself on Hotaru's bed.

"Ne, Hotaru, do you remember the time when we entered a singing contest when we were kids? I just realized that you are so greedy."

"And why?"

"Coz ¾ of our prize was taken by you, to think of it you got all the free coupons while I got the discount coupons." She pointed a finger at her. "MEANIE!"

Hotaru cracked a laugh before sitting down beside her, "and yet you still followed me here, you're so obsessed in me."

"Not! I just figured out that I have an Alice at that time!"

"Li-ar," she snapped. "Mikan?"

"Mm?"

"You're gonna follow me forever right?"

"Don't worry; starting tomorrow I'd follow you, a day from now."

Hotaru smiled at her.

"Hota-chan can you fetch me tomorrow morning, I mean in my room."

"Of course Baka, of course."

**-0-o-o-0-**

Night came, her hair gracefully flowing, her trustworthy pen stopped writing as she moaned. "Why did you die right now? Only a word left!" she rummaged for a new one and to her disgust it's in a new color. "Waaaahhh! It's ruined!" she crumpled the paper and chucked it into her trash bin. She groaned, and then she remembered one thing. She needs to visit Natsume, whether she likes it or not or _whether_ he likes it _or_ not, she closed her eyes and began to think where he could be. She patiently racked her brains until with a satisfying thud of her right hand on her left palm she left her room. He should be there, sitting down and just watching the Sakura petals fall on the grass. Kuro-neko, pervert, bastard, arrogant, stupid, cocky, playboy, womanizer, everything that came into her mind only said things about him, a small smile made its way to her lips as she continued to walk. True she ached for the L phrase; she needed his love, his care his hugs and embrace, and tonight…

Her suffering would end.

She saw him there sitting comfortably, back leaning against the trunk of the old Sakura tree. His cool crimson eyes closed tightly and his raven hair sticking into al lot of directions in a hot way. She knelt in front of him and exhaled softly. The touch of her breath made him wake up with a heavy grunt. "What?" he snapped.

"Nothing much Natsume." She smiled

"Then get lost will you? I'm trying to sleep here."

"Why not in your room? I mean it's much comfortable there."

"You don't have to give a shit in what I do ugly, now get lost."

"Can we just talk nicely to one another even just for 5 minutes?" she asked kindly.

"Then what harass me? Or take advantage of me? You are one serious fan girl! You never give up!" he glared at her.

"I'm not like that." She muttered quietly.

"Well whatever." He closed his eyes and relaxed again, Mikan kept quiet. Mikan just stared at him.

"Natsume?"

"What again? Dammit Sakura! Say it already so that you can leave me!"

"Can you please say that you love me Natsume, just once?" her bangs hid her face.

"Look, I wouldn't say that even if you cry, now leave."

"What if I die tomorrow, would you say it?"

"Even if you die here in front of me, I wouldn't do so." He said coldly. "Get. Lost." He produced a flame and placed it in front of her. She still laughed.

"Of course you wouldn't! How stupid of me to realize that! Don't worry, a day from now-" she didn't continue anymore because he was already gone.

**-0-o-o-0-**

Sunday, to think of it why do they have classes today? Oh yeah the stupid Hime-sama told them they need to learn and here is Hotaru standing by the wall waiting for Mikan. Anna was there too staring at the left side of the hall.

"Mikan-chan told you to fetch her, not to wait for her!"

"It's a waste of energy, besides if the Baka doesn't see me outside her door she'll run here." She continued to wait patiently often glancing at the left side of the hall. After five minutes, Anna bade her goodbye saying that she needs to meet Sumire up by the lobby. Finally growing impatient, Hotaru walked towards her door feeling so nervous and scared at the same time. She knocked three times and heard nothing. Her eye twitching she shot the door open only to see her bed fixed, the hall clean and the floor shining, the only thing that caught her attention were envelopes placed beautifully on top of the bed sheets, she picked it up and examined Hotaru, Ruka, Anna, Nonoko, Natsume—letters for all of them and a note was sticking on the top.

Please distribute Hotaru

-Mikan

She continued to stare at the envelopes, that Baka, what is she up to now? She thought as she entered their class room as usual everybody's behaving stupidly; she stopped by the teacher's desk and cleared her throat.

"The Baka wants to give you these." She showed it to them, many found it amusing. "LETTERS?" Sumire shrieked. "woah!" Sumire ran towards her and grabbed hers. "Hey! We all have one!"

"Really? Let me see mine!" and they flocked Hotaru, she didn't care she just wants to read her letter. Finally when she gave it to Natsume, (who quickly chucked it in the trash can) she opened her envelope.

Hotaru,

Hey! I'm sorry if I asked you to do such a stupid thing, but I can't do it by myself so I need to ask for your help. I know you're mad and thinking that I'm so stupid. Go-men-ne. I know you're probably wondering why I asked you to do such thing. Remember Subaru? Yeah, your dear old brother, three months ago he diagnosed that my Alice decreased my life for about almost all my life and he said, 'sooner or later you'd die,' so I tried not to be a bother and a pain in the ass. I know Sumire and Anna and Nonoko and you are pretty mad at me because I'm _insanely_ in love with him as Koko told me probably six days ago. Then I saw all of you smiling and laughing a week ago I told myself not to tell you anything since everything's _almost_ back to normal. So last Saturday I visited Subaru-nii and asked him how much time do I have left and _poof_! He said a week! That's really funny. Just a week so from that day when he told me I'm gonna die, I tried to think how I will make all of you happy just for a week. Yesterday, I talked to Natsume and asked him to say the 'L phrase', unfortunately, dear old Kuro-neko didn't. Maybe Sumire is right it would be so selfish of me to ask him to say that. At least I already learned my lesson, ne? Umm… what else? Oh yeah, about our talk yesterday, I tried to talk to you longer than I wanted but my body couldn't take it anymore. But those smiles, those laughs, those shouts, Hotaru they are true! I told Ruka-pyon that I never felt so alive and that was true. All my years wasted because of my obsession. I'm sorry I'm stupid, I'm sorry I'm too innocent, I'm sorry I'm a pain. I wish that I can just live much longer, I still want to graduate, I want to work, I want to date, I want to marry a good man, to have kids, to have grandchildren, to have fun, to smile to laugh, to be happy, I want to be with you forever but the thing is… I just can't anymore. I love you very much and I wish that you and Ruka would talk again. Please do so; it would be my last wish, oh and don't cry!

P.S: I asked Narumi-sensei to give you the money I owe you. Ja ne…

Love,

Mikan

Hotaru's eyes glistened with tears, but she couldn't cry, she doesn't want to.

_Don't cry…_

How on earth won't she cry? Her best friend! Mikan is dead, she's dead and she's never gonna come back! Her auburn eyes, her long hair, her sweet smile, her tinkling laugh, her stupidity, her idiocy, her shouts, her screams, all of them she wouldn't hear it anymore.

_Ja ne…_

It's as if she's just going out for a walk and she's coming back, its as if she's going back to her dorm and she's gonna meet them again tomorrow.

She moaned quietly which they heard. She crumpled the piece of paper as she held her face. Mikan was gone, she's dead, and she's never coming back. The tears threatening to fall fell down almost slowly as it wet her fist, why her? Why not Nogi? Why not Hyuuga? Why not them? She pressed her face into her hands and cried she couldn't stop. Her tears wouldn't stop.

"_Yeah, I miss it probably, would you upgrade it this night? Can you shoot me with that tomorrow?"_

She can never upgrade her gun because she is gone; she can never hear her shout of 'Meanie.' She can never hear her say her name. "No, this is a lie… no…" she muttered repeatedly, all their eyes were on her.

"Hota? What's wrong?" Nonoko asked quietly. Most of the boys raised their eyebrows; Imai Hotaru is crying which is like a miracle. It's something that they never expected to happen.

"She just wants some attention. Why on earth would you cry over Mikan's letter, to think of it it's so happy." Ruka snapped at her. She didn't glare, she didn't snap, she didn't shoot him she just stood there crying. Ruka walked towards her and took hold of her shoulders. "Imai what's wrong?" but she didn't speak, she just stood there and cried.

"What's in the letter?" Nonoko reached for it but Hotaru slapped her hand.

"There's nothing in it, Nonoko… there's nothing in it…there's-" the door burst open, Hotaru immediately turned but the frowned when she saw Narumi. _Narumi_… she stared up again and saw his purple eyes almost red. SHE PUSHED Ruka away who was blocking the way towards the door.

_Naru-sensei has the money…_

She ran towards him and began to punch his chest her tears continuing to well. **"TELL ME THIS IS A STUPID LIE! TELL ME! I HATE YOU! I HATE THIS ACADEMY! BRING MY BESTFRIEND BACK! I WANNA SEE HER! TELL ME SHE ISN'T DEAD! TELL ME SHE'S JUST LATE! TELL ME SHE HASN'T WAKED UP YET! TELL ME TO GO OUTSIDE AND LOOK FOR HER! TELL ME THAT SHE'S JUST TALKING TO JINNO!"** She continued to hit him as he sighed.

"I'm sorry Hota—"

"**I don't need your sorry! I WANNA SEE MY BESTFRIEND! Bring her back Narumi! BRING HER BACK! I NEED TO SEE HER! I NEED HER HUGS, I WANT HER TO LAUGH! I DON'T WANT THE MONEY SHE OWES ME! I DON'T WANT THIS STUPID LETTER! WHY DIDN'T SUBARU TELL ME?! WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME? I WANT TO SHOOT HER! I WANT TO SCREAM AT HER FOR BEING STUPID! I WANT TO UPGRADE MY GUN TO WAKE HER UP! I WANT TO SCOLD HER BECAUSE OF HYUUGA! I WANT TO KILL HER BY MY OWN HANDS! I DON'T WANT HER TO DIE! I WANT HER TO SAY MY NAME! I WANT HER TO SMILE AT ME! I WANT TO SEE MY BESTFRIEND! WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME, NARU? WHY?!"** SHE FELL DOWN ON HER KNEES STILL GRIPPING HIS BLACK PANTS. "Tell me it's a lie… please… Mikan, come back."

All of them stared at Hotaru, she cried because she read the letter, it was Mikan's letter of goodbye; she didn't want to tell them all. She wants them to be happy.

"_Six days from now everything would change Yoichi, everything would change."_

Everything's gonna be alright because she's about to leave, that smile…

"_Don't worry; six days from now, everything would change."_

Her laughs were all fake,

"_I haven't eaten yet. Things will remain like this, five days from now."_

The way she said that,

"_You're mean!!" but then she smiled. "Everything would be amusing, Mochu, five days from now."_

The way she shouted,

"_Don't worry Sumire! Everything would be normal, four days from now."_

The way she told them those lines,

"_I'm gonna be alive again, four days from now."_

She hid all her pain,

"_Three days from now Anna, Nonoko, we can bake until the oven burns we will have fun, three days from now."_

She kept all to herself,

"_Don't worry otou-san; two days from now, I'll always laugh with you, two days from now."_

Her promises,

"_Don't worry; starting tomorrow I'd follow you, a day from now."_

Her words,

"_Of course you wouldn't! How stupid of me to realize that! Don't worry, a day from now-" she didn't continue anymore because he was already gone._

This week was her countdown, her countdown to her death…

This week, she did all her best to make them smile, to make them happy, to make them alive and yet they didn't notice it, her fake smiles, her pitiful looks, everything. Anna groaned loudly before starting to cry, Sumire bit her lip and sobbed quietly, Nonoko was still shocked before she sank down into one of the seats. Everyone seemed to be so sad, everyone seemed to be shocked.

Hyuuga Natsume immediately stood up, bangs covering his crimson eyes, he sensed that something was wrong; he _knew_ she isn't alright; she talked to him last night and yet… he didn't bother to listen. He walked towards the trash can, it was a good thing he didn't burn it. He picked the blue paper up and read the note

Wow, it's a miracle you didn't burn it.

A smile made its way to his lips before opening the letter; it contained four simple words that made his heart ache. One word has a different color, and it was crimson.

_I still love you…_

**-0-o-o-0-**

**A/N; I cried when I was thinking about this plot… poor Mikan and poor Natsume, poor Hotaru too. Reviews minna… Natsume is so stupid and Mikan was actually thinking about other people other than her self… poor her… she doesn't care even if she's gonna die at all, all she wanted was their happiness, and their smiles even though it would hurt her. Do you think I should make a sequel?? This is such a sad ending, for everybody who thought that Mikan and Natsume would end up together, I'm sorry; I really love it when people die in the end. (I'm soooo cruel)**

**Oh well…**

**Hope you enjoyed,**

**xXRainbow-ChanXx**


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